A man goes to a divorce lawyer to discuss about on how to progress with the formalities of getting a divorce.
Husband: “I want to divorce my wife. We are not meant to be together.”
Lawyer: “Sure, but may I know the reason for you to draw such a conclusion?”
Husband: “My wife has not spoken to me since the last few months.”
Lawyer: “Please think about it once. You will never find a wife like her.”
A woman goes to a pet store to buy a Persian cat.
She asks the shopkeeper: How much for this one?”
Lady: “What? Isn’t that too much for what it’s worth?”
Shopkeeper: “It’s totally worth it. I have sold her five times and she always comes back to the store.”
A Saint and a man were having a conversation at a restaurant.
Saint: I have done penance for decades and now I just sleep for 3 hours.
Saint: I have learned to control my emotions and reactions.
Saint: I interact with least number of people and talk very little.
Saint: Years of dedication is needed to become like this.
Man: I am an IT professional and I achieved this is in a month!
A group of friends are in a club when suddenly a phone rang. One of the friends picks up the phone and puts it on speaker mode:
Girl: “Hey baby. I found a nice Rolex watch for you. It is for £5000.”
Friend: “Take it.”
Girl: “I also happened to stop by a Land Rover dealership and they have the new 2017 models. I really liked the one Stacy took us out on, yesterday. Should I book it? It’s for £90000.
Friend: “Sure. But make sure it has all the options.”
Girl: “Also, remember that lakeside house that we have gone to buy? They are ready to sell it for £520000.
Friend: “Wow. That’s amazing, book it now. Love you.”
Friend hangs up the phone and says: “Whose phone is this?”
Alan had to visit his in-laws the following week.
He was in no mood to go and owing to the strict nature of his boss did not even care to ask.
After coming back home from work, his wife got furious and asked him to dial the boss’s number right away.
Alan called his boss and asked:
“Can I take a leave next week? I need to visit my in-laws.”
Alan: “Thank you boss. I knew you would understand.”